Thanksgiving...

I just love long weekends with absolutely no plans. It's the best, to start on Friday at 3 pm when the kids get out of school and end at 9 pm Sunday when it's bed time. No where to go, except laying around making coffee and breakfast. Watching movies in our underwear...ok Jax lays around in his underwear. I wear my yoga pants or camo shorts and a T-shirt. Living on a ranch, our only obligation is to get up and feed the horses. It's absolute bliss! Today I stayed in bed till noon watching movies and then arose to go to Jax's football game. He is playing flag football and today was his last 2 games before the big playoffs. He plays both offense and defense and is by far, on of the best players on his team! It is amazing to watch him play, all the coaches on both sides yell, "Watch #11!!" He has a good team, decent players and nice parents. I often feel like we are the Bad News Bears with the left over scrubs but we manage to score and make headway. It's all about teamwork anyway, and Jax is learning about being a leader. He's a great player, I hope these skills take him far in life.

Our life is filled with beauty and mystique. We live on a 10 acre ranch with 1 other single mom and her 82 year old mother. We treat everyone like family, her kids are my kids and vice versa. Along with that comes all the arguments, uproars, and opinions only a family can offer. I have the family unit I have been wanting for many years. Love them or hate them, they are ours. Speaking of ours, my real family is amazing! I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters and 1 amazing mom! My mom is with us today, ( thank god )due to a miraculous event that happened 6 years ago.

My mom was in her early 70's and in great health, so we thought. She came to visit us for Thanksgiving...funny it's almost Thanksgiving now. We had a great visit at my home with lots of love and family. A few days later...she was a bit edgy and out of sorts. She just wasn't herself but she was my mom, bossy and busy and I didn't think anything different about it. We had a bit of an argument over the fireplace and left overs from Thanksgiving and we got into a snaffle of sorts. I felt bad about going to bed mad at her so in the morning I vowed to make amends with her at her bedside. When I awoke, I found her sitting on the edge of the bed awake but confused. When I asked her what was wrong she said she had not slept and her left arm hurt, as well as her chest. I immediately became afraid that she might be having a heart attack. I asked if she wanted me to take her to the hospital, but stubborn as she was ( is ) she said no. So off I went to volunteer at my son's school. She called me 30 minutes later asking me to come home and take her to the ER. It was a very long day, with tests that where inconclusive only to send us home with a prescription for anti-acid medication. Several hours later and several phone calls to loved one's, we thought all was well until.............

My mom collapsed in my son's room at 8:30 pm. I heard her slam on the floor knocking the floor heater over in a giant crash! I ran back to the room to find her fixed and dilated. She had no heart beat, no breath signs, she was dying right before my eyes! What to do?? I was frozen, afraid, alone..... I had only one question in my mind with only one answer. "If you don't do something, she will die right here before you!" So I did what she taught me, I called 911 and performed CPR. For 11 minutes I pumped my mom's chest with fear, love and prayer. It was and is the most terrifying moment of my life. I can not express that enough, I can't even believe I am writing this.

The ambulance arrived at 8:41 and medics rushed into my home on Dec. 1st, 2006. I was a total mess, my son was huddled on the couch holding his stuffed animal, Dave the Dog. They began working on her and by the time they took her out of the house they explained to me she had a pulse. In the meantime, I called my sister and she was on route to my house. They arrived just as the ambulance was pulling out and we jumped in her car and followed them to the hospital. It was the longest ride of my life. As we arrived we watched about 8 people hover over her working on her. The cardiologist on call arrived and began his assessment. He informed us he had no idea if she would pull through and at best, with brain damage. We went into the ER waiting room, where by now most of our family had begun to arrive. We huddled in sobs and prayer pleading for her to pull through. The nurses came to get myself and my 2 other sisters to bring us to her bedside in the ER. She was in a coma and posturing which we thought was her trying to speak. We learned later, decorative posturing is just an auto response of the muscles in the body reacting to a near death event. We held her hand and sang to her. We didn't leave her side until they took her to get a Cat Scan to see if she had a stroke or any brain activity. They explained they would come back for us once she was settled into the Cardiac ICU. When they brought us back a half hour or so, we walked into her room to see her ( to our astonishment ) sitting up and looking around! She was very confused but seemed to have this weird smile on her face. She looked at us and smiled. "What's going on?" she asked. We just held her hand and tried to stay clear off the doctor's and nurses. After the Doctors explained what happened, she now faced an uncertain destiny. Would she have any memory, would she be brain damaged, would she face open heart surgery. My sister's and I held vigil at her bedside for a week straight. Each taking turns sleeping in her room and listening to her banter all night long about this and that. She literally had no short term memory so every 5 minutes,"Where's my glasses?" "Mom" I say, "You don't have your glasses here." "But I just had them a few minutes ago??" she would say in childlike desperation. Finally I asked my best friend Isa to just drive to my house and find her glasses for her. Apparently when your sodium levels drop so low, you have no short term memory. After a week, she had her procedure, angioplasty, to determine the severity of the heart attack.  Lucky for her she had only minimal blockage in a couple smaller arteries which they could repair with stints. The main artery needed some more repair but she was able to avoid open heart surgery. She was only here visiting for Thanksgiving and she had already missed her flight home. A few more weeks in recovery and then home to my sister's house until she was cleared to fly back to her home in Montana. All in all, she was here for 6 weeks.

It is clear to me (and her) that this was nothing short of a shear miracle. How could someone drop dead with no heart beat or oxygen for 11 long minutes? The CPR I performed kept her blood moving which was filled with oxygen which kept her organs alive. CPR saves lives, and now it's known that just doing chest compressions are more important than mouth to mouth. Something like 40 chest compressions to 1 breath. I am so very thankful for the 911 dispatcher that was with me on the phone that night. Through my hysteria and cries, she helped me hold it together. I don't know how I managed to do what I did, but through the grace God she is with us to this very day! I am very thankful for my family, arguments, uproars, opinions and all. You never know when they will leave you, and your last contact may have been an argument. Never leave a loved one on a bad note, make it right. Even if it's you that has to apologize first. You may not have a second chance. Embrace your family this Thanksgiving, and if you haven't talked to them in a while, pick up the phone and make the first move. Your heart will be filled with love and forgiveness!

Have a happy (and healing)Thanksgiving!!

2012

Hello again...
I am returning to this blog in search of fellow felines raising their cubs! It is 2012 and we have re-elected our President for a 2nd term. Where do I find myself as a single mom, business owner, and a single lady?? Alone again, actually! The end of 2012 brings new hope, new fears, new inspiration and new possibilities. I have had one heck of a year struggling with down-sizing my company, starting middle school, surfing dating websites and thinking about the future. I have entered the land of the lost....I am in nowheresville. I know nothing about my son's teachers, although he is doing well with a B average. I know nothing about dating...Zoosk really? I know nothing about what makes employees happy, well maybe a little. Lets's start with middle school-

Middle school has been great so far, although you drop them off and cross your fingers they'll do well. It's a slop shot of what teacher they will get and when they get them...good luck touching in with them. Portals, emails, teacher websites, what ever happened to standing at their door after school to talk to their teacher? Anyway, no girlfriends yet. I guess that's a good thing! He attended his first school dance and stood with his hands in his pockets the whole time. No fist pumps, no head banging (not like I haven't shown him), no cuss words. He impresses me with his ability to stand back, observe but yet still be engaged. We are almost half way through 6th grade but where are the monkey bars? I remember swinging from those with a dress on! I had more than enough boyfriends by 6th grade! So many things have changed, college prep tutoring, Kumon, and spirit week. At least he has a new best friend and seems to be adjusting well.

The sore subject....dating. The only reason I am even looking is someday I will be alone. For the past 11 years I have been very busy raising an awesome kid! But before I could blink he will be roaming off to find chicks or cruise in his car. I need something, or someone more than my computer, business or facebook. Let's be real, human interaction is where it's at! I have a slew of girlfriends, married and unmarried but they still don't want to sleep with me or hang out all weekend! So I resort to the internet, but I still can't commit! Responding to winks, chat requests, back and forth "let's do coffee" requests. It is tiring and somewhat boring in my opinion. I want to meet someone organically like in the market or walking the dog.  Whatever happened to getting set up? I would love for a friend who knows me well to set me up with someone! Some say I am too unapproachable but I don't buy it. Maybe I am just not that into them! Ha! So life goes on, with 1 night a week out being social in hopes to meet him, but until then I am just fine!

The business world as we know it at the end of 2012? It is as big of a mystery as the Mayan Calendar. Some say it's up, other's say it's down, some say it doesn't exist at all. All I know is what is in front of me, and it is a whole new land of uncertainty. Taxes going up, revenue going down, customers going south, employees going north. Who knows right now? I am small which is such a blessing! I can make it with 1 employee or 10, but to grow? Not sure about that. Even the fat boys (and girls, no sexism here!) are closing shop. My poor Hostess, just liquidated today. A total American icon! So sad that companies cannot prosper in America in 2012. Back in the day when we had monkey bars, businesses were lighting up like the 4th of July. Now? They are burning down like Benhgazi! Just my perception, no political props here!  After all that, I have hope, determination and fortitude. Why, because I am lionhearted of course! ( my son btw laughs when I say that! ) Plus I am a camper and a survivor, I put my faith and my life in the land and in my own hand!

Where are you?