I had a fabulous time soaking in the healing waters at Quinn's Hot Springs. It is a beautiful place nestled up under a mountain side along the Clark Fork River. It is a charming setting with log cabins, a tavern, and a restaurant. The pool, which is a series of several smaller pools set at different temperatures, offers something for everyone. It has a hot hot pool at 106º, a couple mid temp ones, an arctic plunge, and a cool swimming pool. The waters contain 6 minerals; silica, magnesium, calcium, potassium, sulfate and iron. I sunk right in to those pools with every intention of pure healing and relaxation. Later in the afternoon we joined the owner André and his wife Jessica for an art exhibit and wine and cheese reception. Jessica is an artist and displays her paintings at the hot springs. It was a very lovely afternoon as I sampled cheeses from around the world and regional wines from Washington and Oregon. Being a Californian, I feel I am spoiled with our state's wines but I was pleasantly surprised by a wine from Washington called 14 Hands. What a beautiful story this winery has! The name is inspired by the spirit of the wild horses of Washington State. I truly enjoyed a lovely afternoon of culture in the middle of basically nowhere. I was transported to areas all over the world and was everywhere and nowhere all at once. Then more soaking into the evening followed by late night story time with Jax and a good night's sleep.
The following morning I was greeted by my mom with a sweet good morning and apology for her behavior the day before. My mom dearly loves all of her children and only wants the best for us. She has lived a very versatile life, first married with young children, to a swinging divorced mom with teenagers. She has been there, done that if you get my drift. It is hard for her to see us behaving as she did when she was young. You know, drinking and carrying on like the life of the party. I think she forgets that some of us still have a little more oats to sow before we turn in our saddle. She means well but somehow I always feel like I am just not good enough, not the person she wishes I could be. I am returned immediately to an adolescent feeling scolded by a parent. I don't think we ever escape the family dynamic no matter how old we are. Her mother did it to her, she does it to me, and I most likely will do it to Jax. What is this lesson we have to learn about our parents? Do they ever just accept that this is who we are? It is hard to let go that, what was their life is not what will be our life. We all make our own decisions and have freewill. Life is your own experience, as are any results from those experiences. It is a rare gift to be non-judgemental for anyone and about anyone. We all do it, wether it's that slow driver or hat turned sideways youth. It's hard to just take a deep breath and let go of that judgement and say to yourself, "It's their life, not mine." This is my lesson I will take with me as Jax becomes a young man. To watch him grow and make good decisions even though I know some of them won't be the decisions I would have made, and some of them may even be horrible! To do my best to be non-judgemental and give support when asked. It may be tougher that I can imagine, but that will be my life experience to live when I arrive there. Only when we are there will we know where we have been. Life is a journey, like this road trip. I can only be here now and then there tomorrow. One day at a time, experiencing my life as I gently observe other's.
Mom- I know you will be reading this...
I love you and you still are my hero, I hope I am your's too!
xoxo
your baby girl
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